Mikasa
by Chryselephantine38
Summary: My elaborated versions of numerous Mikasa-Eren moments that I really loved from the anime and manga (Though I love anything with Mikasa in it *-*). T for generic things, just in case. No MikasaxEren, its meant to be purely platonic but then again, their relationship kinda toes that line regularly. Chapter one is when Eren emerges from the Titan's neck.
1. Heartbeat

Now that the action had ended, I stood here on a slanted roof idly with my team members. They murmured a few words amongst themselves and I felt the eyes of Jean and Armin watching me closely. Did they think I would jump? Now that I think about it, that wasn't such a bad idea. Now that the blood had dried and steamed off my clothes and my blades were dulled by countless attacks, I felt the immeasurable pain of loss remind me of its presence. Ah, how I wished I could hold onto the adrenaline rush and how I wished my maneuver gear would outrun the guilt and shame and just.. depression that I felt over Eren.

It was hard to take in. He was gone? Eaten by a titan? I couldn't believe it. I wanted so badly to hold this scarf that he had wrapped around me in such a messy way and weep into it until it was sodden with my grief. I would've given half, no all, of my life to see him smiling again, even to see him picking a fight with the bullies who were so much bigger than him. I'd give up my arms, my legs, all of my limbs, if that meant I could see him again, alive and okay. All I had ever wanted was to protect him but why?

Why did this happen?

What will I do now? Even watching this titan, who screamed with frustration, killing innumerable Titans and never holding back. Even he reminded me of Eren. Eren never held back and his composure was surely lacking, if titans surrounded him, he'd do the same as this titan, who projected the very rage that has built up from humanity, forced to live like livestock behind these walls.

So when I saw the titan pinned down against the wall, I was almost pushed into action purely by instincts. I don't know what it is but that titan seemed to call for my help and I somehow felt helpless to ignore the plea. Just as I was about to launch myself from the roof, the titan's green orbs narrowed and he blasted through the crowd on torn ligaments and joints popping from behind its muscle. Without mercy, he sunk his teeth deep inside a titan's, who looked to be taking a casual stroll, neck, severing its head. Like a dog unwilling to relinquish its new-found chew toy, the muscled giant took great pleasure in ripping apart the dismembered titan. And finally, without giving anyone time to blink, he killed it. The weak spot was removed in such a _messy _way and red tinted its shoulders before the corpse dispersed.

And as if on cue, the titan surrendered to the overwhelming gargantuans assaulting his form and was promptly laying on the ground, writhing in agony. I could do nothing but watch as they ate him and returned to their normal selves so normally, so dryly. Like all titan corpses, it burned brightly and was snuffed out in an instant, leaving only steam behind - I was almost disappointed.

And while I watched the titan's last sparks of life dissipate, I was even deeper in my dark thoughts of Eren who had abandoned me so brashly. I tried my best to keep my mouth shut. To avoid screaming at the heavens and asking why: 'You're too cruel, Eren!' I wanted to say, 'What did your Mother die for?! If you were ganna die, you should've taken me with you! How selfish can you get?! How could you let me become so attached to you.. if you were just going to die in the end..' and I meant all of it. If there was no way to avoid his death, then I'd have wanted to join him but I can't betray his memory by giving up on my life alone. This feeling ached one hundred times worse than when my parents had died. He, who had made me who I am, had abandoned me just like them but now that I'm no longer a meek child but a woman, I've become greedy and all I want is to have more - more memories than I can possibly be able to remember, more Eren than I can handle - but he's left me alone in this cruel yet beautiful world. I've lost my family once again..

As we were about to turn away, I spotted something.. a shape so familiar it'd be a sin for me not to recognize it. That was...

"Eren!" I called loudly, looking in shock at the form that sprouted out of the titan's neck. I jumped down, heaving and gasping for breath as I ran to the burning remains of the muscled giant. It didn't matter that Eren had come out of a titan, I couldn't care less. The circumstances meant nothing, the titans meant nothing, the witnesses meant nothing. All that mattered was Eren. Eren, who had been eaten by a titan had returned to me.

I reached out my arms tentatively and took hold of him as he fell limp, his body warm to the touch. For a while, I just sat there, holding him. My grip became tighter as I fought with myself to assure my mind that yes, this wasn't a trick, Eren was real. I pulled at his clothes and caressed his back to make sure what I felt was right. He was heavy against my shoulder but I didn't mind. I'd support him if he needed it. All I ever wanted was to support him and to stay by his side.

In a moment of panic, I realized - The body could be here but the life could be.. elsewhere. I cradled his falling form in my hands and pushed his chest close to my ear. I waited. And I waited and finally..

_Ba-dump. Ba-dump. Ba-dump._

So rhythmic and so beautiful, the heartbeat danced against my cheek in its vocal movements, vibrating with so much life that I almost fainted from happiness. Tears welled at the rim of my eyes and the water trickled over as I listened. It continued, never missing a beat and always in healthy intervals. This was Eren, I told myself, he was alive and I'd never let him go again.

I embraced him fully once again and felt his head roll over my shoulder. Almost a war-cry, my mouth opened wide in a cry. I sobbed loudly while our comrades watched in awe and surprise. I didn't mind what happened from now on, thinking he was dead was the biggest scare of my life and I just wanted to yell at the sky. 'Kami-sama, if you're up there, you're a cruel bastard!' but instead it came out as lurched cries and I clasped him so tight, I'd know he'd be either asphyxiating or telling me how embarrassing it was.

But for now, I'd hold him so close that no one could tell where I end and he begins, because all I need is to have him close and to know that he's real.


	2. The Past

_This chapter is based off of Mikasa's flashback from when she meets Eren (and I guess loses her parents :P)_

When the fist collides with my face, in some far away place, it hurts. Irrevocably so. His fist is bruised and accustomed to the feel of cracking bones or puncturing flesh. And it disgusts me.

But as much as it does disgust me, I cannot feel it all in my immediate vicinity - I feel very little and the pain that I acknowledge but cannot feel stares unblinking at me. A minimalist cabin is where I awake - There is no decoration, a seat, one window and two murderers. The first is gruff with pale skin and blonde hair under a beanie, his face is menacing and his tone is _unrefined_. His friend, a commanding man, seems to be the superior and is rounder with closely-shaven brown hair.

I only overhear small bits of their conversation. My young mind races trying to find the answers in its blankness - Oriental, sale - What's it all mean? Nothing? Everything? Is this what my life has come to? I surely hope not. But if that is so, I guess I don't mind. I had a good life. There's nothing more for me to want and even if there was, there's no one to give it to me.

In an almost-distant memory, my Mother's blood floods onto the floor and seeps between our homes' cracks and Father sits with eyes wide open in surprise, slouched against the far wall. And almost taken-aback by the scene, I was already unconscious before the blonde man's fist connected with my jaw.

My hands tied in ropes, but there was probably no rope burn as I gave no resistance. I did not resist even when his calloused, grossly-large hands took hold of my face and his unfeeling eyes bore into mine, "She's fine but she's just a kid," He told his friend. His breath was warm and smelled like tobacco. I was again discarded against the floor.

_Knock. Knock._

A small padding was against the simply-framed door but I didn't dare hope to be saved, it was probably a friend of theirs. As my breath became slower, my emotions were fading all together. The spark of pain, hate, confusion and fear that I had felt in an instant healed as seconds dragged on and the next was late. I lay there without motion while listening faintly to the door opening.

My eyes remained wide open but everything's color seemed to fade. Gray and white painted over the pied landscapes and I was surprised to find that I didn't quite mind this new look. Maybe its because I thought that, yes, this was the world I had _always _lived in and these were the kind of people that I had _always_ been around. It was something I had just conveniently blocked out - Maybe it was myself protecting my sanity, maybe it was my parents protecting me but I had always lived in a state of blissful ignorance.

I felt so hollow inside and even as I saw a man lay dying, twitching and gasping, and practically drowning in his own blood, I didn't care. I felt no satisfaction that the gruff blonde-headed man had died so anticlimactically that anyone else might want to laugh. When the door hinges squeaked and a uncouth roar resounded throughout the cabin, I didn't flinch nor give a single thought to it. Not until there was such vulgar cursing right infront of me, a young boy barely my age piercing the clothes and skin and flesh of a man much older than us both, did I register my kidnappers' demises truly, but still I felt no satisfaction.

"Are you okay?" The boy said as he wiped blood from his forehead. His eyes were bright green, his hair was brown and I was astonished to see this blur of color moving around so freely amongst the white and gray, never being corrupted by the boring colors. The sharp knife cut the ropes and he unweaved them from around my wrist: "I'm Eren, you might know me. I'm Jaeger-sensei's son. I saw what happened, sorry about that." Why my perception of him differed from the rest of my surroundings befuddled me - Was it because he was so casually making conversation with me while cutting my bonds with the same knife that was entirely caked by the blood of the men who had killed my parents? Was it because his eyes were just too beautiful to be colored gray and be wasted?

"There was a third," was all I could muster. He didn't have time to react before a towering form was behind him. I watched, wide-eyed as the man kicked him.

"Did you fucking do this?" He kept repeating. The boy was just a child, yes but it was undeniable by the blood stains on his green and yellow garb that he had done it. The tall man, who reminded me somewhat of a beast, hoisted 'Eren' up by his neck and I watched, horror-stricken as he tried his utmost to asphyxiate my only light in this world.

And I noticed, perhaps for the first time, that this world was cruel. Always ignoring it didn't keep me from unconsciously registering it. The strong would always prey on the weak and the weak would always be tramped under their heal.

"Fight," Eren urged. His green orbs shook in pain and his teeth were all but gnawing his lips into spouting spots of blood but he didn't stop insisting that I fight. "If you don't fight, you can't win," His words, for only a split second, controlled me and I scooped up the knife into my shaking hands.

"I can't," I whispered. I tried my best to look at him apologetically and when his arms finally yielded their resistance and fell limp on the side of his form, something inside me snapped. I was, finally, willing to accept this world for what it was: The world was cruel, the strong would always win and the weak would always be able to do nothing but hide and hope. And although I accepted it, there was no way to know if I was the weak or the strong until I tried.

My grip was unyielding and my palm earned splinters from the knife's handle as it frayed. My foot stamped into the ground and the floorboards cracked beneath my resolve. Nothing could control me if I didn't let it. The tall man that held my color so strongly around his neck was not the enemy, fear was. Emotions were useless to me in a world like this, so I'd not discard them but I'd control them. They were mine and my fate was mine to decide.

A war-cry escaped my lips as I charged from the back. I had one shot and I made use of it: Stabbed from the back, straight through the heart. Eren reeled as he tried to soothe his aching throat and gasped greedily for air, retching furiously.

Hours passed and Jaeger-sensei arrived with the guards from the nearest area. The guards were, to say the least, surprised that two nine year olds had caused so much harm.

Eren's Father held him tightly by his arms and I felt the slightest tinge of envy - What does it feel like to be worried over by your Father? Although mine had done so for me until less than a day ago, I hadn't the faintest idea what that felt like.

And when I heard Eren say that he wanted to save me, I could already feel the tears welling behind my eyes.

They turned their attention to me and without much of an inflection at all, I asked: "What do I do now? Do I go home..? I don't have a home to go to.. It's cold,"

Eren looked at me for a moment but I had no thoughts of being self-conscious or wondering what such a look meant. Without saying a word, he walked towards me and, in that messy way of his, added a new color to my world - Red. It wasn't the unpleasant crimson of blood, it was the fresh red that one might see on an autumn leaf. Finally breaking the silence, he said, bashfully so: "It's warm, right?"

All I could do was be surprised by the gesture.

"Mikasa, how about you come live with us?" Jaegar-sensei asked me, "You need a bit of rest after such an ordeal."

Trying my utmost to ask for permission, I mustered a look that was some parts pleading, some parts apologetic and all parts hopeful. He merely reached into the jacket that had been draped over my shoulders and grabbed the sleeve of my night-gown, a light blush painting his cheeks, "Lets go home,"

And for the first time in that terrifying day, I shed tears like there was no one watching me. My heart thumped much faster than was normal and the tears rolled down my face, where the beautifully-red, completely precious scarf soaked them up and cradled my chin in its warmth, "Okay." was all I could say.

But in reality, I thought I would blurt out everything I was thinking, everything that I felt at that moment. I felt wanted, protected, loved, relieved and happy, all of the things I never expected to feel again after that day. And I decided that the one who bestowed me with these fortuitous feelings was the most pure-hearted boy in this world, none could rival him and even if the world turned against him, I would stand there willingly and unmoving, even if he told me to go. Because I was completely, and irrevocably, attached to this colorful Eren Jaeger and I hoped to be by his side forever.


End file.
